My Daily Journey Living With Endometriosis...

Sometimes its so hard for me to even get out of bed due to the pain of endometriosis. Its by far the worst pain I've ever felt in my life.  Sometimes I feel as though I just want to rip out my uterus just to stop the pain.  Its truly affects every part of your  have life it basically controls you in a way.  Many people say that they have control over their condition and that their condition doesn't have control over them but the way I see it if you have to cancel appointments and stay in bed or take medication just to get through the day it truly has control over you.  Sometimes my pain is so bad it hurts to breathe.  I sometimes find myself gasping for air and crying uncontrollably to the point I have anxiety attacks back to back. There are days I can get up and get dress and walk out the door perfectly fine but that one wrong move for me getting in my car my day takes a sudden shift. There where many days I prayed for death just for the pain to stop.  I cried and cried and pleaded with God to take the pain away I couldn't take it another day living like this not knowing how or when it would strike up.  I felt like a helpless child balled up on the bathroom floor doing all I could to fight through the pain.  My mom and my brother and sister where my only source of some type of sanity. They sat with me throughout the night and help me every way they could never leaving my side for more than a few minutes.  I felt really bad many days that they had to take care of me because of my pain. Sometimes it would get so bad and unbearable I could control my body.  There have been many days that I urinated on myself from the pain and many vomiting sessions. Many nights and mornings I army crawled to the bathroom because I couldn't walk at all it becomes crippling many of days but with much prayer and inner strength I push through  it and do my best to put the best on the outside even though I want to give up on the inside.  I've missed out on so much due to my condition and even my job has become hard for me because my condition has put a strain on not only my body but my emotional state.  But everyday I wake up and I pray for strength just to make it through the day and whether in pain or just emotionally drained my God gets my praise in all things because I know that he will put no more on me than I can bear because the Joy of the Lord is my STRENGTH!!!!!!